CATabolism
PROLOGUE:
This article has been written by the author during several stages of his brain's development and late realizations of the fact that how important or rather unimportant the CAT in our life actually is.It should be understood that the author's brain has degenerated considerably and all that he writes is an emotional outflow which need not be the correct perception of things to come as well as things going on.....but.....it definitely is the best way out of the soup called CAT which is like a gambit that kasparov plays on vishwanathan anand every time.
AN INTRODUCTION TO THE CAT:
Some years back I read this comic strip of Garfield. It had Odie and Garfield ,both presenting their perception of their master.
Odie: my master feeds me, pets me and nourishes me…He must be God!
Garfield: my master feeds me, pets me, and nourishes me …I must be God!
For those who are wondering, Garfield is a CAT.
You like pets? Well maybe you do but I don’t(according to my orkut profile..i am supposed to like them at the zoos but hey!...i dont like them their either)! Seldom has any species of the feline kind played such a significant, mind boggling, brain twisting, soul petrifying role in my otherwise insignificant and minuscule life.
WHY ON EARTH AN ENTITRE FREAKING ARTICLE ON CAT?
This article is a pure dedication to those who aspire to get through the “CAT”. Actually it’s a purer dedication to those have stopped aspiring for the CAT and have thus been elevated to the more mature and sane world which we call “LIFE”. A couple of months back I met this hotshot IIM grad. He summarized in just a few words what I have started to follow: “get CAT or get a LIFE!” .The message was clear and simple. You think? Call me a pessimist, call me a cynic…..heck call me an incompetent nincompoop for all I care! But the ground reality stands! This pie ain’t for everyone. The CAT chooses only Tom! Sorry Dick and better luck Harry! Yeah yeah I know that u all wanna be the Tom but someones gotta be the dick(pun very much intended) and harry in the race?
D-DAY MINUS ONE:
NOV 18th....should have guessed whats going on in my head huh? for those who didnt....consider yourself lucky that u dont know the importance of the next day.
People say you should chill on the last day before going in for the biggy(CAT i mean.. hereafter shall call it so..somehow detest the sound of CAT). I say you should be scared, be very scared...be a nervous wreck, start biting your nails , pencil heads...heck start biting everything you can lay your hands on....ok ok cut this shit..STOP fantasizing you perverts!!!!!
revise 2+2=4 and all that.
D-DAY(morning):
admits cards, pencils, sharpeners, erasers and all that.
D-DAY(noon):
Lunch yaar...hog your ass off! no better way to release depression than to "dabao" at that latest KFC stall opened next to your centre. trust me...all of this is from my personal experience....what the hell...i could even smell and sense that roasted chicken just waiting for me to tear it apart once i get out of that damned hall.(vegetarians could probably replace chicken with pig...nah just kidding beef would do you just fine)
D-DAY(night):
I dont beleive it i got 6 calls. what already!!!! not possible nah? well the regular
calls yaar..wtf do i have a cell for? dad called , mom called, relatives (keen to hear about my fiasco) called, more relatives(rubbing their hands with glee) called.... dad and mom called again and so on....
THE AFTERMATH:
Hello!!!! you arent paying attention...there IS no aftermath. i chose the saner path of getting a life and forsaking the biggy.Cant tell you how eagerly i am NOT waiting for the results to come out.Cant tell you how much i wish to slowly fade into the abyss even as people start discussing their filthy scores.Cant tell you how much i wish to wish no more!!!!
Instead,
Tell you what....
CAT can do to you what even 10 shots of tequila and 50gms of KETIMIN-50 wouldnt dare doing.
It can feed kasparov his own gambit
It can send you on sensational highs and crash you down to the dingiest lows even before you could bat an eyelid.
EPILOGUE:
the author prays for justice to be done upon him.he laughs heartily till he cries inconsolably....he seeks divine intervention..he laughs again..he cries again.....!
This article has been written by the author during several stages of his brain's development and late realizations of the fact that how important or rather unimportant the CAT in our life actually is.It should be understood that the author's brain has degenerated considerably and all that he writes is an emotional outflow which need not be the correct perception of things to come as well as things going on.....but.....it definitely is the best way out of the soup called CAT which is like a gambit that kasparov plays on vishwanathan anand every time.
AN INTRODUCTION TO THE CAT:
Some years back I read this comic strip of Garfield. It had Odie and Garfield ,both presenting their perception of their master.
Odie: my master feeds me, pets me and nourishes me…He must be God!
Garfield: my master feeds me, pets me, and nourishes me …I must be God!
For those who are wondering, Garfield is a CAT.
You like pets? Well maybe you do but I don’t(according to my orkut profile..i am supposed to like them at the zoos but hey!...i dont like them their either)! Seldom has any species of the feline kind played such a significant, mind boggling, brain twisting, soul petrifying role in my otherwise insignificant and minuscule life.
WHY ON EARTH AN ENTITRE FREAKING ARTICLE ON CAT?
This article is a pure dedication to those who aspire to get through the “CAT”. Actually it’s a purer dedication to those have stopped aspiring for the CAT and have thus been elevated to the more mature and sane world which we call “LIFE”. A couple of months back I met this hotshot IIM grad. He summarized in just a few words what I have started to follow: “get CAT or get a LIFE!” .The message was clear and simple. You think? Call me a pessimist, call me a cynic…..heck call me an incompetent nincompoop for all I care! But the ground reality stands! This pie ain’t for everyone. The CAT chooses only Tom! Sorry Dick and better luck Harry! Yeah yeah I know that u all wanna be the Tom but someones gotta be the dick(pun very much intended) and harry in the race?
D-DAY MINUS ONE:
NOV 18th....should have guessed whats going on in my head huh? for those who didnt....consider yourself lucky that u dont know the importance of the next day.
People say you should chill on the last day before going in for the biggy(CAT i mean.. hereafter shall call it so..somehow detest the sound of CAT). I say you should be scared, be very scared...be a nervous wreck, start biting your nails , pencil heads...heck start biting everything you can lay your hands on....ok ok cut this shit..STOP fantasizing you perverts!!!!!
revise 2+2=4 and all that.
D-DAY(morning):
admits cards, pencils, sharpeners, erasers and all that.
D-DAY(noon):
Lunch yaar...hog your ass off! no better way to release depression than to "dabao" at that latest KFC stall opened next to your centre. trust me...all of this is from my personal experience....what the hell...i could even smell and sense that roasted chicken just waiting for me to tear it apart once i get out of that damned hall.(vegetarians could probably replace chicken with pig...nah just kidding beef would do you just fine)
D-DAY(night):
I dont beleive it i got 6 calls. what already!!!! not possible nah? well the regular
calls yaar..wtf do i have a cell for? dad called , mom called, relatives (keen to hear about my fiasco) called, more relatives(rubbing their hands with glee) called.... dad and mom called again and so on....
THE AFTERMATH:
Hello!!!! you arent paying attention...there IS no aftermath. i chose the saner path of getting a life and forsaking the biggy.Cant tell you how eagerly i am NOT waiting for the results to come out.Cant tell you how much i wish to slowly fade into the abyss even as people start discussing their filthy scores.Cant tell you how much i wish to wish no more!!!!
Instead,
Tell you what....
CAT can do to you what even 10 shots of tequila and 50gms of KETIMIN-50 wouldnt dare doing.
It can feed kasparov his own gambit
It can send you on sensational highs and crash you down to the dingiest lows even before you could bat an eyelid.
EPILOGUE:
the author prays for justice to be done upon him.he laughs heartily till he cries inconsolably....he seeks divine intervention..he laughs again..he cries again.....!
Comments
well i know how stressed out u were and i dont blame u for writing so much abt it.
Hope u get thru!
on 19th morning when i saw u... i could understand how much u had undergone cos of CAT!
love everything else too.
but i too believe that CAT is not life!!
really nice man!