The Upper Hand

 "Pick up whatever you feel like and let me sleep!", she said and hung up. I am not much of a drinker and neither is my wife, but at Duty Free shops I have this crazy urge to buy alcohol because I love good deals that help me massage my ego. You would think that as a marketer, used to toying around consumer behavior, I would realize the irrationality of my own habit. Well I don't and this is a perfectly rational behavior in my head. My wife has given up on trying to make me see the absurdity of it but she hasn't given up on her sleep. So when at 3AM, I landed at the Mumbai airport (home to some of the cheapest booze in the world), and took a rational decision of calling my wife to check on what booze I should buy "for her", I soon realized this was a faux pas.

While boarding the Uber back home, my mind had already switched to damage control mode:

1.Should I pick up her favorite coffee from Starbucks | At that hour it was suicide

2. Flowers? The only flowers available at that time would be the Pooja (prayer) flowers at Dadar station and who makes up with Pooja flowers? | My desperation still kept the idea in consideration

3. I was coming back from a Paris trip and I wondered if I could pass off one of the gifts bought there as a peace maker. The problem was that she already knew about that gift and so it had already gone into base expectation and wasn't going to cut it for the momentary faux pas.

With no bright ideas and home fast approaching, I decided to deploy the sheepish smile as my first (and only) line of defense. As she opened the door, I smiled but she was already smiling at me very lovingly. You know those moments when things unexpectedly work in your favor and you confusedly and happily let it happen without saying anything, because you could do with some luck?  That was one. Playing it cool, I pushed my bag in and a very tiny, skinny and furry thing brushed against my legs. I was staring at a frail kitten and then at my wife and trying to make sense of everything. Suddenly her smile made sense to me, it was that sheepish genre smile, much like mine. This meant SHE was trying to please ME and this also meant I had the upper hand. Ha! 😈

With the tables having turned, I put on a stern face and said, "No we can't keep her". My wife said, "Ofcourse, I understand we can't. But I just rescued her yesterday and she is weak. Please let her get well for a week and then we will find someone for her". While I was no cat lover then, with the upper hand being mine, I gave in. After all, a week finishes very quickly and I had also narrowly escaped the repercussions of my booze antics.

Now if you are unaware of animals and spouses, as I was about both back then, let me tell you how it pans out:

Animals indoctrinate you into loving them, very very quickly.

The week never gets over, ever..

The Upper Hand is an illusion, always...